Clearly, God is a Democrat.
Funny love phrases
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
If I ever caught myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass!
Funny quotes on life
As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around.
Groucho Marx funny quotes and sayings
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.